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1.
the story opens on a baby laughing and crying, told my son, “you're dying - living and dying.” so he slept and i took my wand and waved it over him took myself and made a ship for him and he loves me that's more than i hoped for in my dreams and reservations so i'm glad that i kept on this baby had a close friend who loved to build buildings patient and kind and willing to keep trying one day they built a history longer than their own memory took a paper and they drew the angel bells i'm watching them i'm learning to do that too i'm learning to do that the story opens on a baby
2.
long haired angry broken seed your knives and your stink of broken branches don't scare me away we fought in the sun in a field of tomatoes their broken fruit stung our eyes the earth tasted salty like a sandy bone of meat our bodies lay there in the rain the crows tore at our remaining anger the flowers growing from our legs were sweet and sharp a brand new day we couldn't tear ourselves away we couldn't leave that great big sky 'til stone rained down and we forgot our winters
3.
been twenty years i'm sailing across this sea of melted dreams and clouds of purple gold and red makes me sick in the head but i'm alone, so no one cares but the friends i have made who climb aboard every day i've been practicing burning light into light inside my hands it takes a man off balance when light falls from his eyes but it doesn't keep my table full so i learned how to fly on winds that i stole and i hunted birds with my hands straight out of the sky if you believe that a man can fly otherwise i've just been eating daydreams from the ocean like an organ out of tune trapped myself in the wrong song a thousand times a night
4.
broken white feathers falling down hidden lines of light the mistake was not made to teach you wrong from right i walked three days to reach a door touched the mango to my eyes kissed it gently set it down grasped at time to teach me numbers numbers dance around my hands count them all and there'll be more filled my pitcher with sugar drank my cup until it yelped filed away the edge of fancy found myself finding help i asked myself if i heard the song asked myself if i'd sewn it tight folded cloth over my bolts the scars that healed still show
5.
the light here is dangerous the light here will pull you the light here will knock you down if it sees you standing up that's the way of the world that's the way we've been given and i haven't found the crack in the sky to let us out so keep searching remember what you love here leave your blood to keep dripping the ground could use it now i offered you dignity you said not on your life wild foal, did you run this far all alone would you like to keep my bell by your ear i keep it forever if you just sing for me if you just sing that's the way we've been given...
6.
there's a needle in the sky gently sewing through it all stuck the needle in your eye and you cut the cords that held you down carved your name into the bone what a strange thing for you to do now the whole world knows your name better than you, better than you melt your heroes into dust the dust you thought you had to dream with you are a captive of your heart feeling ever more like a bird sing your song into the earth listen careful for the echoes the bone of rock still pulses there heart of earth the dreaming stone and when you go will you burn your soul to watch the flame to really feel it when you go will you burn your soul just because you thought you didn't need it
7.
my master gave me a note wrapped hastily to hold a secret he told me to take this note to the moon this morning the road is very long, i travel one foot after another i keep my eyes on my rough path and i close my eyes to the nightmares and wonders that fly above my head i hope that none are hungry if they are i might soon be dead at least as dead as a man like me can be when i reach the gardens of the moon her soldier says, “son, are ya dreamin'?” i give him my master's seal wrapped in silken cord and the soldier lets me pass if heaven is a real place would i still be myself there the moon takes my note then smiles then frowns then her light just swallows me up
8.
play me like a guitar i'll teach you how to sing we'll sing about the memories that caught us in their sleep flying through their dreams tell me you've been hoping a lock would bind our soul brass and steel the thoughts revealed i'd hold us in this home and we'd never have to go sing to me of your family i'll tell you of my friends my friends are wild and roaming they teach me to befriend the lazy ways of fighting close enough to love that i can't tell the difference and i can't tell them no
9.
do you smell the scent of the woods this summer do you smell its old fur underneath the new do you think we might find the milky pools this year that bathe our bones and heal our woes smell the rabbit with his heart all flaming dreaming of his does, he closes his eyes do you smell the water of the stream cackling at the widows we've made with our own teeth and claws what a sorry tale the tooth and the key piercing through flesh that divine mystery what a sorry game we must play though the smells are sweet inside us this day
10.
her soft breathing tames the animal in my heart the animal at my side is unafraid my hair smells of dandelion, my face smells like sage and the places i have been somehow soothe her i smell the smoke of the hickory in her hair i smell honey too i smell her walking through a stone doorway into a garden of soldiers' graves i smell the bitter herbs i drank to keep my eyes from drifting and the woods soft cries i smell in my sweat its tears only there do sting me i smell the snow from winters ago it still chills me just to feel it i smell the touch of my lover in her room with the soft red light and pianos quietly singing
11.
the religion of the fist biting into steel air smells to me like death stretched out across all my years i found a cold lump of ice in my fingers how do these cords of wood not rattle apart with their loose tangles my child drawing faces on a troubled sea draw me a map of the strings that draw me apart into the north, and the earth and the wandering herds of deer
12.
i sing with a frog in my throat while a thousand demonstrators watch hungrily with the lambs kicking at my shins they don't know how much their anger pleases me i'm not hungry for you to understand me though i am a little scared that the world might teach you wrong so i told the sky to hand you the amulet of omen and bone as the man once told it to you your face is a beautiful writhing mass in this darkness i know the deer have the right idea and the fawn now my prince in the field i have sent him out to challenge the armies and to seek out the unreal i sing
13.
beat the starsong on a pile of sticks hotter it grows hotter it grows we talk about the owls their fledglings are so brave plucking bread from our hands telling pictures with their eyes I break a color on my hands the sticks are still singing beat the starsong on a pile of sticks hotter it grows hotter it grows
14.
the story opens on a baby long haired angry broken seed been twenty years i'm sailing broken white feathers the light here is dangerous there's a needle in the sky my master gave me a note play me like a guitar do you smell the scent her soft breathing the religion of the fist i sing with a frog in my throat beat the starsong

about

In the spring of 2010, my son Francis filled notebooks with poems - page after page, all in pen, no erasing, no 'mistakes' - literally hundreds of poems and then he shared some of them with me. As Fran read, I jotted down the first lines of the poems that I particularly loved.

That collection of poems, in the order that Fran read them to me, became the 'Yellow Flowers' record. And that chronological list of first lines ("the story opens on a baby, long haired angry broken seed, been twenty years i'm sailing, etc...") created the 14th and final poem/song, 'Yellow Flowers', the title track of this record.

It took 9 months with the poems, reading them, appreciating the creativity, the imagery and the ideas before the first melody came for 'i sing with a frog in my throat'. The music and arrangements for the 13 remaining songs came shortly after.

It took 6 more years, a community of artist friends, and Vaughn Montgomery and Jeff Lennon (collaborators and midwives) to birth this recording.

credits

released November 4, 2017

lyrics by francis arant
music by jan smith

produced and recorded at mugwump's rock pile
by vaughn montgomery and jeff lennon
additional recording by aaron embry
mixed by vaughn montgomery

jan smith - vocals, guitar, concertina
aaron embry - vocals, organ, wurlitzer, guitarrón
vaughn montgomery - vocals, guitar, piano, percussion
jeff lennon - vocals, piano, percussion

artwork by betty seaman

IMMENSE gratitude to my son, FRANCIS, for your inspiring writing,
and for the spring day in 2010 when you read these poems to me in the order they now appear on this record. thank you, VAUGHN and JEFF for the countless hours of midwifing these songs, and for mugwump's rock pile. AARON, hallelujah! you jumped on board and brought so much beauty with you. BETTY, your art and friendship inspires me. BRENTON, my sweetheart, you smile when you hear me singing and playing banjo and harmonica in the middle of the night - you are a miracle.

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Jan Lamberton Smith Cuyama, California

"...You can talk about the glory days my darling, but these evening stars just take my breath away, and the sky is so immense I cannot hear you. In the moonlight I forget what I should say. There's nothing on the dashboard for protection; there's no candle in my window for regret, and the beauty in this moment overtakes me. I'm headed out it's bowling night again." ... more

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